Week 24: Student Relationships

Instead of talking about new strategies and tools I used inside of the classroom this past week, I am going to talk about some other "firsts" I experienced this week...

Unlike many teachers today, I don't tend to stay in contact with my students after they graduate high school. Even though I have a Facebook account, I don't have other forms of social media; I've stayed away from Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Snapchat, etc. On Facebook, I have my privacy settings set in a way that makes me virtually unfindable (I know that's not really a word...) unless I share mutual friends with the person searching for me. I know that some teachers like to keep in touch with students through social media, but since I am relatively young and always try to appear professional at work, I don't really want any of my present or former students to see pictures of me in shorts, sun dresses, bathing suits, etc. I am so careful about trying to keep students from finding me that I have even avoided liking my school's Facebook page, friending some of my colleagues, and following a friend's local business. Despite my precautions, about a year ago, one of my former students found me and sent me a friend request. 

The student who found me was one who I had a special relationship with while she was in high school. Due to the fact that she was (is) an ELL and had already switched schools a couple of times, when I met her as a student in my English 11 class 5 years ago, she was already 19 years old; she was jaded, depressed, and wanted to drop out of school. I couldn't blame her - at 19, she had already been married and divorced in Mexico, she had been raising her sister's daughter for at least 2 years, and she was pretty much supporting herself and some of her other family members financially. 

When I first tried to get her to work in a group with other students, she stayed after class to tell me she "didn't like people" and, therefore, wanted to work on her own. Over that year, I helped her slowly come out of her shell mainly by listening to her and encouraging her to keep going. When she found out she would need to come back for one more semester the following year in order to graduate, once again, she wanted to give up. I talked her through it, and I forced her to sign a paper that said, "I promise to come back next year and graduate." I kept that paper pinned to the wall behind my desk until she graduated the following year. 

So when she found me on Facebook, I accepted her friend request. (She had come to visit me and another teacher a few times at lunch since she graduated, so it didn't seem totally out of the blue that she had looked me up and found me.) Soon after I accepted her request, she sent me a message asking for advice. Once again, she was in a situation that had not turned out as she'd hoped, and she did not know what to do. Because I don't have any of my apps set up to notify me instantly, I gave her my cell phone number in case she needed to reach me in an emergency. Not long after, I got a few text messages and a few calls, always when she was in need of advice; we continued to stay in contact. 

Two weeks ago, she sent me a text asking if we could get together this past week before she moved to Tennessee on Saturday (yesterday). After texting back and forth a few times, trying to figure out a date and a time, she also told me that she was going to get married on Wednesday. (I knew that she was in a relationship and had recently gotten engaged.) We decided to meet for lunch on Monday. 

At lunch, we talked about her plans to move with her 9-month-old son and about her upcoming wedding. It was then that she told me that only 3 people knew that she and her fiance were planning on getting married so soon, and she asked me to be at the ceremony, which was going to be at 3 PM at the courthouse in San Diego. I don't know if I was more surprised by the fact that I was one of the 3 people who knew about the wedding or by her request that I be there; I told her I would try to make it work. 

On Tuesday at lunch, a current student of mine (the one I've mentioned before who often comes into my room to talk to me) came in to talk and to make up some work. This student has a slew of personal problems, including health issues that have caused her to miss quite a bit of school this year. Over the weekend, just when she thought things were starting to look up, her grandfather passed away. On Monday, she had been in a really bad mood, and she didn't even look at me when she walked in and out of class. On Tuesday when she walked in at lunch, the first thing she did was apologize for how she had acted on Monday and then she unloaded everything that had been going on since the last time we'd talked a couple of weeks before. I listened. She told me that she'd almost called me on Saturday night because she didn't know what else to do. (I'd given her my number a couple of months before after she told me that she'd been kicked out of her house the previous weekend and had nowhere to go.) She said she didn't call because it was late, and she didn't want to wake me up. 

As depressed as she was over her grandfather's passing, her main concern at that moment was figuring out how to raise her grades. Due to her absences, she had missed a lot of assignments in all of her classes, and if she didn't get her grades up by Wednesday (the next day), she wouldn't be allowed to play in her lacrosse game. As we talked, it turned out that it was "senior night" at the game the next day, which meant that before the game there was going to be a small ceremony honoring all of the seniors on the team. She really wanted to be able to participate in the ceremony since she was team captain, and, in addition to possibly not being allowed to play due to her grades, she was also upset because her father told her that he wasn't going to be there. (In other words, he didn't care to be there.) I asked her what time the game was and told her I would be there. I don't think she registered what I said at first, because she continued to talk about how nobody would be there for her and then said, "You should come." I told her, "You get your grades up, so you're allowed to play, and I will be there." 

That afternoon, I confirmed the time and place of the wedding with my former student, and I made a plan that would get me down to San Diego for a 3 o'clock wedding, allow my son to take a nap at my brother and sister-in-law's house, and get us both back up to Fallbrook by 6:30 for the lacrosse game. 

On Wednesday, my current student brought me her make-up work. I graded it quickly and entered it in the grade book; it was enough to raise her grade from an F to a C! I signed a grade-change form for her and then rushed home to get my son before heading down to San Diego. About 10 minutes after I'd left school, my phone rang. Even though I didn't recognize the number, I picked up; it was my student. She was distraught because one of the women in the counseling office told her that they could not accept the grade-change since I did not deliver it to them. I told her not to worry. I called the school and left messages for both the registrar (explaining the situation) and her counselor (updating her on the situation). Soon after, I got a call from the counselor saying that everything was taken care of and the student would be allowed to play. I was home by 1 and back in the car, with my son, by 1:15. As long as there was no traffic, I had it timed to my brother's house by 2:15 and to the courthouse by 2:50 - 10 minutes before the ceremony. 

As I was driving, I got a call from the bride asking if I would be there by 2:30 because they needed a witness! I said I was on my way and would be there by 2:45 or 2:50. I got to my brother's house as planned, dropped off my son, and continued on my way. As I was getting off the freeway in downtown San Diego at 2:40, my phone rang again. It was the bride asking me for the spelling of my name and my address. I gave it to her, parked, and made my way to the courthouse. I found her and her soon-to-be husband on the second floor, finishing their paperwork. Aside from her baby, I was the only other person there. 

The ceremony took place almost exactly at 3. It was only a few minutes long, but it was beautiful. I held her son and video-taped while they said their vows and exchanged rings. I was honored to be able to take part in this event, and I am tearing up right now thinking about it. Afterwards, I took a few pictures of the newlyweds outside the courthouse. When the bride asked me if I could stay and get something to eat with them, I told her how I had to get back up to Fallbrook for the lacrosse game. She smiled understandingly; after all, it was this same quality about me that had brought us together and brought me down to San Diego to be the witness in her wedding. As we parted ways, she shouted that they would have a bigger celebration the following year; I told her I would be there. Before turning the corner, I looked back at her one last time and smiled as I thought about how I had literally changed her life. As teachers, we know that we affect our students' lives on a daily basis, but we don't often have the opportunity to actually see concrete evidence of the influence we have on those lives. And off I sped to Fallbrook...

We got to the game and out of the car at about 6:37. As we were walking up, I could hear my student giving her speech, and I was sorry that she would not see me sitting in the stands, listening. However, we stayed at the game up until the break after the second quarter. Luckily, my student saw me then, waved, and thanked me for coming. I shouted, "Good luck!" to her before we headed home for bedtime. 

The next day, she walked in and handed me a letter. At first, I thought it was a note excusing her for being tardy, since she came in after the bell rang, but then I saw that it was in her handwriting and started, "Dear Ms. Lewis..." It was a note thanking me for everything I'd done for her. In it, she admitted that she wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for me. 

Now, I'm not telling you these things to impress you or anything like that. As teachers, we have these kinds of connections on a regular basis; it's the nature of the job. I'm telling you these things because I think sometimes, especially at this time of year when we are starting to get sick of some of our students (it's okay... you can admit it...) and when we are starting to get sick of going to work every day, we need to remember why we became teachers in the first place. Contrary to popular belief, we didn't become teachers in order to get summers off (especially because every teacher knows that you don't really get summers - or any other time - "off"); we became teachers in order to help young people learn and grow. We give up our time before school, during breaks, at lunch, and after school because we care about our students and their futures. With some students, there is nothing more to our relationship than the brief interactions we have with them in our classes each day, but we love them all nonetheless. 

Unfortunately, some of our students don't realize just how much we love them and just how much we would do for them. Although I didn't mention it above, this past Wednesday actually started with a very sobering discussion about suicide in my 1st period class. It was exactly one week after the memorial service for a student who committed suicide over Spring Break, and, even though nobody ever brought up this student specifically, I'm sure she was on all of their minds. It was a discussion that brought tears to the eyes of more than a few students in the class. I admitted to them, as I admit to any class that talks about suicide, that my biggest fear as a teacher is having one of my students commit suicide. I told them that I don't know if I would be able to deal with that empty desk. I opened up to them about some of the suicides I'd experienced in my life, and I read them a letter written by Frank Warren to a 16-year-old girl who was contemplating suicide. 

When it comes down to it, teachers not only change lives - we save lives. I am writing this post to remind you of that. If you have not done it recently, tell your students that you care about them. Show them that you are there for them, even when nobody else is. Help them to understand that, no matter how alone they might feel, you are only ever an email away. As I said above, we are teachers because even though there may be nothing more to our relationship with our students than the brief interactions we have with them in our classes each day, we love them all nonetheless. 

Week 14: Walking In My Students' Shoes

I am pleased to inform you that our independent reading program continues! Today, my students met for the third time with their partners to discuss the books they are reading. While some pairs discussed their books and then quickly moved onto other topics, many of the students were engaged in discussions about their books for a good 10 or 15 minutes. As I wandered around the room asking students about their books, I was happy to find that most of them are enjoying what they are reading; they might not be reading quite as much as I would like them to be reading, but they are reading nonetheless, and they are enjoying it.

Last week as I walked around, one student was very eager to tell me about the book he was reading - The Celestine Prophecy. In fact, when I first introduced the reading program the week before, he immediately asked me if I or the school library had the book; we didn't, so he wound up buying the e-book on Amazon. He tried to explain to me what it was about ... something about "a manuscript which tells us the purpose of life, but it's an adventure, and they're trying to find the manuscript, and I can't really explain it that well, but you should read it." It didn't sound that interesting to me, but I decided to order the book myself and at least try since this student was so enthusiastic about it.

At the end of the class, a few students shared out with the entire class what they were reading. Provoked by his partner, one student, who did not want to talk about the book he was currently reading, informed the class that his favorite book of all time was Dune. "Doom?" I asked. "Dune," he said. I hadn't heard of it, so I asked him what it was about. He explained a little and said I should read it. I told him I probably wouldn't like it because I am not very "big" on sci-fi. I am just not a sci-fi girl. Sure. I will admit that I love some sci-fi movies, especially superhero movies. (Do those even count as sci-fi? I don't even know.) However, I do not enjoy reading sci-fi. It just doesn't appeal to me at all. I like my books grounded in reality. I like to allow myself to get wrapped up in the world of the book I am reading. I am sure plenty of people can do that with sci-fi, but it is just too... fictional for me.

When the bell rang, the same student approached me with an old copy of the second book in the Dune series. He told me it included some information on the first book, so I should read it to see if I thought it would be something I would enjoy. I skimmed the page and reported that it "might be something I could get into." "Might be something you could get into? It's only one of the best sci-fi books of all time!" he exclaimed. "It is on par with The Lord of the Rings!" I flinched at this and then admitted, "I've never actually read The Lord of the Rings. I just can't get into it." He looked at me, with a mixture of disgust and disbelief on his face, and walked out the door. I sighed to myself, walked over to my computer, opened up Amazon, and ordered both Dune and The Celestine Prophecy. I decided that since I, as an English teacher, often force my students to read books they don't necessarily want to read (like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Great Gatsby) and try to get them to open themselves up to the possibility that these books could actually be good, that I should probably force myself to step outside of my comfort zone and read these books that my students recommended to me.

The books were due to arrive on Sunday, February 1st (thank you, Amazon Prime), so I took home The Fault in our Stars to fill the two days before they arrived. Why The Fault in our Stars? Well, I actually really wanted to read it. A student had just returned it and said it was really good. A lot of the other girls wanted to read it, but since nobody asked to take it home that day, I figured it was my chance. And while it was bit of a let-down, it served its purpose perfectly, and I finished it in those two days.

As of February 1st, since the start of the reading program, I had read 3 books - a total of 964 pages - in 15 days, which averages to 64 pages a day. Not too impressive, but not bad either.

And then I started reading The Celestine Prophecy. Why did I start with that one? Honestly, I was getting ready for bed on Monday night and asked my husband to go grab one of my new books. He asked if I had a preference; I didn't. I really didn't have any desire to read either of the books I'd ordered, so I just told him to choose one for me; that was the one he brought upstairs. Right now, I am on page 150, which means I have read an average of 30 pages a night this week - less than half of my average from before I started reading this book. It's not that the story isn't interesting. It is. But it is not go-upstairs-and-pretend-to-go-to-the-bathroom-but-actually-read-on-the-bed-and-then-quickly-go-to-the-bathroom-when-you-hear-footsteps-coming-up-the-stairs interesting. And I am not trying to sneak glances at the pages while my son is playing nor trying to convince him to read one of his books while Mommy reads her book (which never works from more than 30 seconds anyway). I just didn't feel any urge or impulse to read it at the beginning; I wasn't dying to read this book. (And don't even get me started about how not dying I am to read Dune...)

Now that I am 150 pages into The Celestine Prophecy, I am getting hooked and starting to read more, but it took me at least 100 pages to get to this point. What does that mean for my students? How many of them have the stamina to read a book that I (or anyone else) am telling them to read for at least 100 pages before they start wanting to read it on their own? Especially when they have so many other things they would much rather be doing and that they find much more interesting? No wonder I (we) lose so many of them when we try to get them to read something for class. Even when we read in class, it is difficult to hold their interest because the reading is broken up so much by everything else you are trying to accomplish in those 56 minutes, not to mention weekends, holidays, testing, etc. Despite the fact that I was able to effectively hook my students into the topic of the book before we started reading, I am dying right now trying to get us through The Awakening because I lost one instructional day this week and will lose five more over the next two weeks. At this rate, it will be at least two, maybe even three, weeks before (*spoiler alert*) Edna kisses Robert, and most of my students probably won't even care when it happens because they'll just be thinking, "Man... we're still reading this? I thought Ms. Lewis said this would be a short unit."

I would say that The Awakening starts to get really good about half-way through, when Robert leaves for Mexico, and Edna realizes she loves him. When I read the book in college, for a college class, I think I read it in a day or two because I read it on my own time. Yes, I had to read it for school, but really, I chose to read it. We all know that every college student picks and chooses what reading to do and what reading can be skipped; we do it to survive, but since we signed up for a class we were interested in the first place, what winds up happening is we read books and articles that we actually want to read. I wound up loving The Awakening so much that I decided to convince my boss to order a class set, so I could share it with my students. Have some of them wound up loving it? Yes. But some of them have also wound up hating it, and, unfortunately, since they hated The Awakening so much, they definitely weren't too enthusiastic about reading our next book - The Great Gatsby. And this is how we create non-readers. It isn't that my students don't read in my class. They absolutely do. And we have great discussions about the books. But the problem is that they don't all love what they read in my class, and since those books are the only exposure some of them have to any books at all, they think they just don't love books in general, and they don't even bother going out to look for a book that they do love. And I guess that's why I started the independent reading program in the first place.

The problem is that when we tell our students what to read, we are imposing our own interests onto them. We are saying, "I really like this, so you are forced to read it because I like it," which is essentially the same as someone saying, "I really like Brussels sprouts, so you are forced to eat Brussels sprouts because I like them," which is absurd. Why would you force someone to eat something they may not want or like just because you like it? You wouldn't, especially because you probably know that that is almost a sure-fire way to make the other person hate Brussels sprouts. Why, then, haven't we realized that this is also a sure-fire way to may students hate reading?

What do we do about this? I don't know. I am happy with the way my independent reading program is going, but I am not about to up and abandon teaching some of the classics. I think the key is to find a happy medium. Figure out a way that works for you to encourage independent reading outside of what you read in class. And figure out a way to only teach books you really love, because if you are teaching something you don't even want to teach in the first place, the kids will pick up on that. (It's like saying, "Here, I hate Brussels sprouts, but I am going to force you to eat them anyway even though they are the most disgusting thing that you will ever put in your mouth." That is obviously not a good idea.) If you start from a place of love, and you are encouraging the students to find things that they love too, while they may not wind up loving what you love, they will at least be able to respect and appreciate what you love. And I guess when it comes down to it, that's why I'm going to try to read Dune.

Week 9: Building Confidence

This week, I only had two days of instruction followed by three days of final exams. Ah... the end of the semester! Students were giddy as the final bell rang; they headed out to the bus loop discussing how they would spend their two free weeks of Winter Break. I assume there must be some teachers out there somewhere (or at least one out there somewhere) who were also able to walk gleefully away from campus without having to take a single paper home with them. I, unfortunately, am not in that camp. With approximately 3 million essays to grade this break, I will spend every day for the next two weeks grading as much as I can during my two-year-old's nap time (oh my goodness... please let him be good about taking his naps...).

Sometimes, I wonder why I do this to myself. I would love to spend the break unpacking boxes that are still sitting in the garage from when we moved three months ago. I would love to take naps along with my son or maybe even catch up on some of the shows that I never have a chance to watch during the week. However, as an English teacher, that "free time" just doesn't exist in my world. Sure. I still take naps and watch TV occasionally, but it is always at the price of grading some assignment. I know that most people who are English teachers know exactly what I'm talking about. I also know that while other teachers understand the constant planning and grading, they don't quite understand what it is like for an English teacher. (Once, one of my students told me that one of the P.E. teachers on campus told him that P.E. teachers are the smartest teachers on campus because they get paid the same as all the other teachers, but they don't have to do any of the extra work. I paused when I heard this and, for a moment, seriously considered going to take the CSET for Physical Education.)

However, I know why I do this to myself. I know why we all do this to ourselves. It's the very reason we got into this profession in the first place. It's for those "a-ha!" moments. It's for those times when our students surprise us and, perhaps, even themselves. And, let's be honest... We chose to be English teachers instead of P.E. teachers or math teachers because we recognize that our subject (despite what David Coleman and other proponents of the Common Core are decreeing) allows for deeper conversations, stronger connections, and bigger "a-ha!" moments in which the students realize not only something about the subject matter but about themselves and/or the world around them. We understand that being an "English" teacher isn't really about teaching reading, writing, listening, and speaking ... it's about teaching love, compassion, respect, and self-reflection; it's about creating a strong foundation from which students can jump off and go out into the world and read and think for themselves; it's about building confidence. And this last week, I saw that confidence on more than one occasion.

Reading Stories to 3rd-Graders

On Tuesday, I took my 9 ELD 2 students to a local elementary school to read children's stories they had written to a friend's 3rd grade dual-immersion class. ("Dual-immersion" means the students in the class are being taught in both English and Spanish.) Since some of my students worked with a partner, we had 6 stories to share with the 3rd-graders. They were ready for us as soon as we got there - already sitting in 6 different groups. We decided it would make the most sense for the readers to rotate from group to group, so after introducing all of my students, I had them go sit down with their first group. I could feel my students' nerves, but I knew they were ready for this moment. We had spent time in class the day before practicing; each student had read his/her story out loud as many times as they needed until they were able to pronounce each word perfectly. I held my breath as they began. I was standing closest to a boy who wrote a story titled, "A Fight for the Love of a Beautiful Princess". He introduced his story to his group and then waited awkwardly while they all copied down the title on their graphic organizers. I could tell he was unsure of how to proceed, but after the last boy finished writing, my student began reading, and almost immediately, I saw him relax. He knew he could do this.

I looked around the room and watched as my other students read their stories to their groups. As each student finished reading his or her story, the 3rd-graders immediately jumped in with questions and comments. "How did you get all the pictures for your story?" "Why did you chose to use those names?" "I really liked how you put a lot of emotion into your story and all of your drawings." (If you didn't already do so, re-read those quotes in the voice of the most adorable 8-year-old you know or can imagine. As you might guess, as soon as the kids started talking to my students, every last bit of nervous energy left the room. Just as the 3rd-graders were enamored with my students' stories, my students were enamored with how freaking cute these kids were.)

At the end of our time together, my friend asked some of her students to share some last thoughts with my students before we left. Some of the students chose to share in English, but most chose to share in Spanish. The last boy to share was embarrassed to speak at first (despite the fact that he had had his hand raised, waving it about to be called on, from the beginning), then, in English, he said, "I really appreciate them coming here because I know how hard it is to learn another language." I smiled to myself because this little boy had nailed the exact reason why I'd chosen to bring my students to this class; I knew they would not judge my students' limited English because they, too, were working on learning a second (or third or fourth) language.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I actually did this same exact activity a few years ago with a class of 9th and 10th grade Long-Term English Learners. Despite the differences in the two groups of students who completed this project, the result was the same... At the end of the field trip, the kids asked me when we would do something like this again. The next day, I had my students write an autobiographical narrative/reflection on their experience the day before. When we debriefed, all of my students told me that the field trip helped them to feel more confident in speaking English. I told them I was extremely proud of them. Even my 2 lowest-skilled students who primarily speak to me in Spanish did a phenomenal job reading their stories in English. They still have a lot of work to do to become "fluent", but this experience helped them to see that it is possible and that they can communicate in English if they try. In order to keep this momentum going, we decided that we will continue to build our relationship with this class through writing, Skype, and perhaps another field trip.
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Ease of use: This was, actually, extremely easy to set up. I started by contacting my friend to see if she would be interested in participating. Then, I filled out a field-trip request to get Board approval. I made it clear on the request that it would cost the school very little; since 3 out of the 4 adult chaperons would drive the students, we would only need to be reimbursed for about 2 miles worth of gas each. (And, to be perfectly honest, I'm not going to bother filling out the paperwork to get that reimbursement.)
Would I use this again: Yes.
Downsides: Depending on your scheduling, your students may have to miss another class. Since I have these students for a block period, I was able to make sure we left and came back during that time, so they didn't have to miss any other periods.
Applications: Even if you don't teach English, you can do something like this with your students. Take your high school students to an elementary school to teach them science experiments or history lessons. The main idea is that you are getting your students involved in a way that they aren't usually involved - you are making them into role models. Some kids aren't used to this, and it is extremely powerful for them to realize that someone else actually looks up to them. If you can't take an actual field trip, set up some kind of big-buddy system in which you write back and forth to a younger class. Any of these things will help to build your students' self-esteem.
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Getting Students to Talk and Care

My other experiences from this week were much less concrete. I can't pin them on any specific lesson or activity I did. I can't even really say that I played any role in bringing about these changes. Nonetheless, they were positive experiences that stuck with me for the rest of the week.

The first might seem extremely minor. At the end of class on Monday, a student came up to me to tell me that she was unable to plug her Chromebook in because she couldn't find the correct plug. I thanked her for letting me know and told her I would take care of it. Then she left. End scene.

Why would something so small stand out so much in my mind? Because I have had these students since the beginning of August, and this was the first time that this particular student actually spoke to me! On her own! Without any prompting from me or anyone else to do so! For whatever reason, she is finally starting to feel more confident and comfortable in my classroom. 

The next day, another student in the same class stayed after class to speak to me about his grade. He has a 48%, but he asked me if there was any way he could pass. Old me would have looked at him and told him no. It was too late. New me, however, looked at him and said, "Maybe. It's not likely, but if you do X, Y, and Z, it's possible." The difference? I didn't extinguish his hope. Who am I to kill the small amount of hope and drive he was finally showing? I couldn't do it. He came into Tutorial that day (the second time he attended Tutorial this year) and immediately began working on one of the things I'd told him he needed to do. Will it be enough for him to pass? No. However, the key is that he came in, and he was working. If I had told him there was no hope, he probably would not have even bothered to show up for Tutorial. 

Why do students randomly show us that they care? Why do they one day, all of a sudden, start to open up to us? I can't say, exactly; however, I believe it is because, day in and day out, we are constantly showing them that we care. I recently watched a TED talk called, "Growing Roses in Concrete". In the talk, the speaker mentioned Maslow's hierarchy of needs. He reminded the audience that students need their basic needs met - to have enough food to eat, to feel safe, to feel loved - before they can reach self-actualization and achieve at their full potential. It doesn't matter what subject we teach; that is what we do for our students on a daily basis; we show them that we love them. 

A friend of mine who shared some particularly bad students with me once asked, "Why aren't they as bad for you as they are for me? How do you get them to work?" I told her, "It's because I'm like their mom." Plain and simple. I go out of my way to show them that I care for them, to show them that I love them, to show them that I respect them, and, most importantly, to show them that I believe in them, even when they don't believe in themselves. Do all of my students succeed? No. Absolutely not. However, they all know that I will help them in any way, shape, or form if they ask me to.